Usually, right around this time I would write two entries that would A) look back on the year, and B) look back on the year to come. This year though, I am not going to do that.
I don't know if the lack of motivation has more to do with the fact that I do not want to some how, at the end of the year, feel like a failure, or whether or not something else has changed where I feel like I no longer need the motivation to take a very long view.
I only made two resolutions this year, and one has been one that has not changed each year: get my fat ass in shape. But now I no longer feel the need to write about it. Rather than rush in like so many people do after the New Year and head to the gym and work out hard for a week and get burnt out, I am taking baby steps. First, what I put into my body is more important than any amount of exercise, so now I am in the process of overhauling my nutrition. When that is done, I will hit the gym.
I am doing it this way because honestly, working out has never been an issue for me. When I am at the gym, I am as methodical as a surgeon. However, I have never been methodical when it comes to what I eat. I will go five days of eating clean, and then over the weekend drink a lot, and eat like 20,000 calories worth of garbage. No amount of exercise can fix that amount of damage over a sustained period of time. Also, the timing of when I eat got completely screwed up over the holidays, so I am working on getting that back under control. Like I said, baby steps.
And I am not doing this for anyone but myself. Not my family, not the girl I am now seeing, not for my professional career, not for anything or anyone but myself.
The second thing I resolved to do was not die. I mean really, if I accomplish this one, everything else is fucking gravy baby.