I will first have to say that this, the first entry of the Month of November in the Year of Our Lord 2011, was triggered, no, IT WAS INSPIRED, but the last episode of Dexter.
Ha. You thought I was going to get all holier-than-thou on you. Suckatash.
I am not going to give a brief recap of last night's episode so as not to give out any spoilers, but I will have to say that it centered around forgiveness as the central theme. Kinda. But this really doesn't have anything to do with forgiveness, at least it doesn't right this second as I am writing. Who knows where it will end up when I am finished.
Do I believe in a higher power? Yes, I can say that I do. I think the universe is much to vast for there not to be something larger at work. But do I believe everything organized religion stands for? Do I have the need to go to church in a house built by human beings to listen to human beings talk about a book that was written by human beings about other human beings? No, not so much.
Now, I do not begrudge people who feel the need to do such things. I do not begrudge them for being a part of a community of people who do such things. I do not begrudge them at all. However, I do begrudge the inherent contradiction that lies between them all.
For instance. A woman cheats on her husband. She tells her husband. Her husband turns to God for answers, and says his faith will get him through this. Faith in what exactly? That you do not have it within yourself to use the gift of free will that all humans have to make a decision based upon the facts as they have been laid out before you that your wife liked sucking another man's dick? Personally, in that situation I find weakness. And that really turns my stomach.
Or maybe the husband that has cheated on his wife, drinks a ton, beats his kids, steals, and is generally a horrible person, who "find's Jesus" and all of a sudden is forgiven for everything he has done and it doesn't matter what other human beings think of him or his past misdeeds because Jesus has saved him and he has been forgiven.
First of all, a person cannot decide that they themselves are forgiven if their past transgressions have negatively impacted another. They do not get to make that decision. They can forgive themselves only for the shit that they do to themselves. That's about it. For all the other bad shit they did, yeah, it doesn't work like that.
The one thread to seems to weave its way through everything is that if you believe, the way someone else said you should believe, then you do not have to be accountable for any decision that you make because everything is already predestined, in God's plan. It was God's plan for the wife to cheat on her husband so that his faith may be tested. It was God's plan for the rat bastard of a husband and father would do such horrible things in order to hit the bottom and be saved. And the contradiction inherent in that? The fact that one must give up free will, which apparently is something that separates us from all other of God's creatures, in order to believe this, because no one can actually have free will if what you are doing is predestined.
If God has a plan, I am guessing that his plan is nothing more than to sit back and laugh his ass off as we try to find a reason why we do the stupid and fucked up shit that we do. And that is where my faith and reason coincide. I have faith that there is a higher power. I just do not have faith that I can only believe in the way that someone else says I have to believe, or it isn't real.
Brother Sam chose his path. He made a choice to turn his life around. His faith helped him conquer his demons. He chose forgiveness instead of vengeance. But it was HE who made the choice. No one else.