Sunday, October 2, 2011

You Must Be Kidding....

Dear Diary,

There is a little known thing that us bloggers use, and it something that we use for our own protection/amusement. What I am talking about is a code that allows us to keep track of our blog statistics, for instance, to see how many particular page hits we receive during a day, week, or month. If something is really profound (and let's be honest, not much is these days in my neck of the woods), we can see how many people read us that day, and what directed them to us.

So, wouldn't you know that I went to check said service to see what was going on, and holy mother of a goat fucker, some of the shit I saw blew my mind.

Let's just say that when someone in Libya, as well as Pakistan, did a web search for fucking fat babies, and they were directed to the post where I complained about being sick.

Someone else searched for mouth fucking, and low and behold, they were directed to my site when I wrote about my dental issues, and they were from TN. Shocking right? Maybe the person was a hillbilly sheep fucker.

Then there was the person in Sri Lanka who wanted to search for divorced guys fucking neighbors, and well, since the title of my blog has "divorced guy" in it, guess where they wind up.

Fat fucking? Yup, guess where they end up. Big heavy men fucking? Guess where in the great and wonderful interwebs they land. Fat man screwing babies? Big fat fucking? Mythical creatures fucking? Wouldn't you know that someone thought it would be funny to direct them to little ole' me.

So, if I guess if I write sheep fucking goat sucking fat whore cum slut anal whore sub fucking gaping facial tranny sucker that should really drive up my traffic, right?

Sweet baby Jesus. The interwebs. Gotta love it.


  1. my search terms are consistently some of the most hilarious things ever. i think the best one i've gotten in quite some time is this one:

    dont worry princess it will be over soon

    i have no idea how, what or why. i just kinda love it.

  2. holy crap, those are some weird ass search terms!! It always amuses me to see what pops up in mine...but yours take the cake.

  3. Oh my God, I was doing the silent wheezing laugh at my desk. This post made me laugh my ass off. I so needed this.

  4. OK...I don't get a list of what search terms found my page. Which service are you using. I'm a little challenged in that department, so maybe I'm not looking in the right place! LOL

  5. Insane shit
    I can only imagine if I looked
    why people are directed to my site . Geezum

  6. HA! Yep, I have people come to my blog for some weird shit too. Guess since I write about sex occasionally... Heh.