Sunday, October 16, 2011

When Worlds Collide

Dear Diary:

Well, that speechless moment lasted long, didn't it? Now, here are a couple of thoughts.

I do not consider myself a blogger. I just use this tool to get things off my chest because A) I am better at writing than speaking sometimes, and B) I can't afford to pay someone to listen to me bitch. But, since I have a blog, and well, blog, then I guess I am a blogger. Kinda sorta maybe.

Now, there are several bloggers in the DC area. Some guys, some girls. Some have something to say. Some don't. Some are thought provoking. Some need to learn how to use the English language. But I digress.

But what happens when the dating service of your choosing matches you with a blogger? What happens when you actually follow the blogger you are matched with? Or what happens when you go out a couple of times with someone else who uses this tool?

Yes, this has all happened to me.

Not with good results.

So, here are a couple of thoughts:

When you go out, and are not dating, but have made out, even spent the night together (no sex, I swear), there should be some sort of bottom line level of decency. What should not happen is that when one gets sick, like with bronchitis or something, and feels as though he (gave it away didn't I) was hit by a bus, that one has to read about how the girl he was hanging out with is suddenly madly in love/lust with someone else, especially after such a short time from aforementioned sleep over. Not really cool. There has to be some leeway given is someone is sick. You don't just hop in bed with the next guy and leave another hanging. And if you do, give them a heads up before you fucking write about it. And gloat about it. Because it only gives the one left hanging a sick pleasure when he (gave it away again, oops) reads that the one you were so into drops your ass. I admit, I smiled. For a while.

But, that is not the worst part about having worlds collide. Say your dating service matches you with a blogger you are aware of. Hell, you have even seen this blogger in person, but have never actually met. You know who she is though. You think she is funny, articulate, intelligent, kind, and fun. You even think she is cute.

So, when you get matched, you smile a bit. It came out of left field, but you are generally pleased that it happened. So, you send her a message, to try to strike up a conversation. This person doesn't know you read their blog, and doesn't know you know who she is (or at least, you know a little bit about her already), because you keep your blog extremely anonymous. She does follow your blog though, so you hope she responds, but are also aware that she is probably a hot commodity, and gets pummeled with messages everyday.

And then, very shortly after you send her a note, she responds.

By closing you out and removing you from her matches. And it isn't the shutting you down that hurts, but its how fast it was done. Like ten minutes fast.

And you feel a little worthless. You wonder how someone could make such a snap judgment about you to deem you so unworthy. You wonder what it was on your dating profile that turned them off. And then you wonder if your pictures make you look ugly. You wonder if you are ugly. And you feel ugly. And unwanted. And you wonder if you are ever going to be with someone whom to you, is beautiful.

And then you wonder if in a year from now, you are going to be reading her blog, and if in a year from now, she is still going to be single. And then you laugh, albeit not much. And you laugh about her writing how all the good ones are taken.

Lady, I'm fucking awesome. You should have opened your eyes.


  1. Ouch. I'm sorry that happened. Really shitty. Have some heart people, we all have feelings. You are awesome, she clearly missed out. Hang in there!

  2. WOW. just... wow.

    i make it a point never to put anything on the blog that i wouldn't say in real life to someone's face. sometimes i write things and send the person they're aimed at a link with a note of explanation. but i've never dealt with that situation, given how strange my relationship pattern is. you are 100% correct: in that situation, you were OWED an explanation before the whole world got one. that's tacky. to say the very least.

    sorry you had to deal with that. really.

  3. "Lady, I'm fucking awesome."

    Favorite. part.

  4. Maybe she realized you too are a blogger. When I was on last year, someone looked at my profile from out of state, and someone from the same city and state had visited my blog around the same time. As I had been talking about being on Match, I figured one of my readers did a little detective work and found my profile. Just a thought...

  5. I'm glad you realize you're awesome, first of all.

    Second, damn I don't understand people who don't know how to behave toward other people. I'll never get it. To be frank, both of these chicks sound like fickle twats. Def not worth your time.

    Hang in there, Awesome. :)

  6. Eesh. Well, her loss, eh?

    I agree with Rev.

  7. Hmmm, that's awkward. I've had people come up in matches that I know in real life, but I never thought about people coming up that I might know through blogging. Then again, I don't live in a city like you do. I think my hometown is in no danger of producing a plethora of bloggers.

    This sucks and I'm sorry.

  8. Ooof! I can't help but think that I know who this may be...

  9. Well K, if you email me, then you can tell me who you think it is and I will let you know if you are right or not.

  10. Just catching up on this...people suck. Sorry this happened. This is why I am very careful to 1. never blog about people in real time 2. keep some things to myself. I have made nary a mention about the last few guys I have dated and thank God. They didn't work out and I am glad I didn't have to eat my words OR compromise my privacy.

  11. Sorry to hear Divorced Guy. She must have gotten wind of your post, because here she is thrashing you on her public twitter:

    What's up with these DC women dating bloggers and their lack of class and tact? I actually had a first date with one who proceeded to thrash me on her public twitter...DURING the date.

    And yet they go on and on in their blogs and tweets, bemoaning the fact that they're still single and the lack of "good men". Good riddance...

  12. You need to get over it. You're not that awesome if you're letting something so trivial (and it is) bother you. She probably saw the red flag waving...

  13. Seems like this could've been cured with a good dose of Nyquil and "who the hell cares."

  14. She sounds classy.

    That was sarcasm.

    You are indeed awesome.

    That was not sarcasm.