So, um, yeah, I think I joined a dating site. I mean, I remember paying for a subscription. So yeah, I guess I did. Back into the old swing of things I guess.
"But you don't sound so enthused about it!" That's probably what you are thinking.
Well, I am writing write now on pain killers and drinking vodka (don't lecture me), so I am not that emotional at the moment.
What I can say is the following:
-I am looking forward to dating again. I enjoy it. And let's face it, I am not getting any younger.
-Rather than sign up for a long ass period of time, I just did something short and manageable, so that I can get out of it if I so choose after a reasonable amount of time.
-The summer is ending, and fall is approaching. What else is there really to do in this fucking city during the fall and winter other than date? It is like they are the two seasons custom built for dating.
-I am going to be someone of an unyielding prick insofar as I am not going to let dating dictate my life, my mood, or my schedule. I did that before, and it was hazardous to my health. Rather than build a schedule around dating, I am going to build dates into my schedule. It sounds similar, but it isn't, and there really is a huge difference.
So I know what you are thinking ladies (and yes, I am well aware that the vast majority of my readership has a vagina), and let me stop you before you think I am a prick. Would you rather me continue to be who I am and let you get to know me, or would you rather me be who you want me to be? Would you rather me fit snugly into your little box (mind, exit gutter stage left!) or would you rather see if we can build a new one on our own? I will make time for you, but I will not put everything on hold for you, at least not at this time.
It's not that I do not want to be accommodating in certain respects, but I really do want to be able to stop worrying about whether or not I am going to be liked for who I am.
So, I hope you will indulge me while I try this whole dating game again, and with a bit of a twist.
And well, if you think I am an egotistical jerk who needs to me more flexible, well, I was flexible already.
This time, I am calling more of the shots. It's my life, and it's my heart.
But like I said, pain killers and vodka. This may all be making sense in my head right now, and tomorrow, I may look at it and feel like a fucking asshole. But, not to self, I will not delete it.