Tuesday, July 12, 2011

You Asked, I Answered, Part 2

Dear Diary:

Q: What is the scariest thing that's ever happened to you? What's a weird nickname somebody's given you and why?

A: Since this is a two part question, let me go ahead and answer the second one first, since the answer to the second question is shorter than the answer to the first.

Anyway, no one really has given me a weird nickname. There have been variations of my first name, as well as nicknames that evoke a sense of where I grew up. However, if I were to tell you what some of them were, then I would leave a clue as to my real identity. And for reasons that I mine and mine alone, I am very protective of that in this particular space. So those that know me know me, and those that do not, can choose to.

Now, as for the scariest thing that has ever happened to me, that one is easy. It was when a woman I loved at one point in m life told me that she wasn't in love with me anymore and told me she wanted a divorce. I have never felt so alone, lost, and confused in my life, and hope to never feel that way again. I just did not understand it, and for me, someone who's life revolves around his ability to have a firm grasp on situations and be able to understand things quickly, I was scared shitless.

Sorry if you were hoping for something dangerous.


  1. I would have said the same thing re: scared. Trying to understand it is the hardest part. For me, I thought I needed it for closure. I found I didn't, though I know some do feel that need. (and seriously, no nicknames?!)

  2. I never said I didn't have nicknames. I just said that I would not be revealing what they were.

  3. Yeah, that pretty much knocks us off for a bit, huh?

    Nuff said.

  4. well, as for the nickname - that's understandable. wouldn't want you going and revealing who you are - ha ha.

    as for the scary, it wasn't meant as a dangerous sort of question. everyone has something in their lives that is scary to them. it's interesting to see what it is that scares people. my mom would have said the same thing - or better yet - not knowing how to live without my dad - about three years ago.

    hopefully, you'll never have to face that particular fear again.

  5. ugh, i know that fear, even though i was the trigger puller in my divorce. i had no idea what i was doing either, and it was freaky.

    and for the nicknames? my parents picked my given name specifically so that it couldn't have bad nicknames made from it. magnolia is the handle i chose for myself. my real name? it's pretty much un-nickname-able. they did well.

  6. I don't blame you for not wanting to reveal your nickname. Identity is a big concern for us bloggers when we are writing about such deeply personal stuff.

    As for being scared by the divorce...yes; it is an extremely frightening experience. I was the one doing the divorcing, but I was so scared. I hadn't been sleeping. I was nervous. I was smoking (I don't smoke). I was experiencing a lot of emotional conflict. But the day I served him those divorce papers, I slept like I hadn't slept in years. And I just found out yesterday that it is final.