Thursday, February 10, 2011

Fucking Twits

Dear Diary:

"Twitter: Where homely women live out their sex kitten fantasies"
-Frank G, Esq., 2011"

The above quote was not coined by me. It was however coined by a very wise individual. Said wise individual also has a Twitter account, because he enjoys his social media, as well as generally pointing out the absolute idiotic behavior of those who live in this area. So it's not like he was just randomly saying something to be provocative. He has his reasons.

So, the above referenced quote got me to thinking. What is it with social media and dating? And why do people actually think posting shit about dating on social media sites is a good idea? And why in the name of all that is good and holy do those people not realize that they make themselves look like asshats? And why is it that the majority of the bitching and moaning, and occasional gloating is done by women? Women I might add that by and large (with a few exceptions granted) feel the need to put up a suggestive picture that shows some sort of skin, and or cleavage? (Don't hate, I did my research)

And what is even more frustrating is that these same women that consistently use social media to talk about their daily life and provide status updates like "painting my nails while taking a gigantic crap" then actually want us to use, a..........wait for it..................

Phone?

Ok, let me give a bit of background here. When I was a freshman in college, web based email like Gmail did not exist. Hotmail wasn't even born yet (I think). Cell phones were still not really affordable. When I graduated they were just becoming affordable, barely. What one would call a smart phone did not even exist. Blackberry was a fucking piece of fruit, or a jam.

But all of a sudden, these women want us to party like its 1999 and make a fucking phone call? Sorry, you must not have gotten the memo. It's 2011. My phone only goes off when someone is texting me. Have an actual conversation on the phone? Maybe with my mother. Or maybe with my best friend who I speak to three times a year, the last time involving us talking for a couple of hours and me standing in my kitchen getting fucking hammered in the process (true story).

But no. Some go to great lengths to point out than someone else didn't call.

And how ironic is that? Posting on a social media site that someone didn't use their phone for the original purpose their phone was invented? And posting it using a....wait for it......phone?

If someone can text, Facebook, E-mail, Tweet, IM, Pin-to-Pin, etc., then why on earth would they use their phone to make a phone call?

Furthermore, most of the stuff said in less than 150 characters is about as important as my daily shit. Actually, that is pretty important. Rather, it is about as important as bird shit on my windshield.

I mean, the REALLY important stuff that comes in under 150 characters should be said directly to a person, not on a phone, and sure as fuck not on Twitter or Facebook. You know, the important stuff like: "I love you" or "Will you marry me" or "I'm sorry" or "I won't get it in your hair this time."

But then again, I don't have a data plan yet cause I am waiting to get a new phone.

6 comments:

  1. *ring ring* - > voicemail - > *grumble*

    I am SO making a status update abut this on Facebook - Once I'm done taking a mirror shot of my boobs..

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  2. yeah, i text with my boyfriend when we're not together. it works fine. sometimes we'll talk on the phone if he's driving, but that's pretty much all.

    and i really don't like to dish about our relationship on twitter or facebook. (the blog, on the other hand, is free game; i've been given the go-ahead there.) it's just... weird.

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  3. My job requires that I'm on the phone for the majority of my day. The very last thing I want to do when I get home is talk on the phone. Torture, that.

    But, you know, I actually don't want to Tweet/Facebook/Email/Text either, so maybe I'm meant to be with someone who'd like to come over three times a week and not talk at all...which could be fun, if done correctly.

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  4. I'm gonna disagree with you on this one....here's a bet I'll make all day. Any chick that will not talk on the phone but will text her fingers to the bone is an emotional train wreck or she can't carry a conversation with a ficus.

    When I was single I'd date these girls who would text me for 15 minutes, like a whole conversation, when I'd say screw this and pick up the phone.... no answer...she sent a text 14 seconds ago...adios sunshine.

    Maybe I'm just old fashion at 40...but I'm not going to debate the finer points of floor tile off my phone keyboard...pick up the phone and call me or continue to be single cupcake...your call.

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  5. Chopper, I think it is a generational thing to be honest with you. I know some women that just don't talk on the phone, but they are just a couple years younger than I am. But those women do not bitch about not being called either.

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  6. I tried to have a Twitter acct for, like, a day. It bored me that much so I just canceled it. Fucking retarded.

    I agree with Chopper's assessment, though. I hardly ever text. If I do, you can rest assured it's something like, "The kidney's on ice, the paramedics are on the way!" But then again, I don't like girls who stand around in Target or the bank or wherever and yap on the phone, having what could be the most vapid conversation on earth. It's got to be a generational thing. I just feel too old for all that Twittery, texty shit. (And so should Demi Moore, but that doesn't stop her.)

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