Tuesday, February 15, 2011


Dear Diary:

Fuck you. No seriously, fuck you.

Work, life in general, fuck you and the bullshit that you throw me everyday. I am leaving.

That's right. My ass is planning a much needed vacation.

There are a lot of things that are going on right now, and a lot of balls that are being juggled at the moment, that if I give too much detail, well, I will eliminate my ability to write about them in the future. This is one reason you have not heard much from me lately. The other reason is that I do not want to get so excited over something in case it does not pan out. I have done that enough in my life, where I daydream about the "what if's" and ultimately end up disappointed.

So, for the time being, you are just going to have to settle for reading pointless and random bullshit, tirades against the Man, blatherings about nothing in particular, and probably some dick and fart jokes. Because let's be honest, no one with a penis can go forever without throwing in a dick or fart joke. They are always funny. I mean, just think about balls for a second. They are rather hilarious. Except when one is kicked in them. That is NEVER funny, well, unless it happens to someone else, then it is a gut buster.

But anyway, I am taking a road trip. I have always wanted to drive across the country, stopping along the way to see bits and pieces of America that I would normally never see. But you know what? It's kinda fucking chilly at the moment.

So instead of driving cross country, I am planning on driving south. To Key West.

I fully intend to write while on my travels, and it doesn't hurt that my new phone allows me to do so easily. And while some may think of driving for at least 20 hours one way is painful, I find it rather relaxing. I am thinking I will stop along the way, so if anyone has any ideas....

One thing though that keeps popping into my head is the fact that I got married in South Florida. So, I may give you a little surprise. Maybe.

I just know that if I do not get the fuck out of this area soon, I am going to burn myself out.


  1. A fart is a pleasant thing,
    It gives the belly ease,
    It warms the bed in winter,
    And suffocates the fleas.

    A fart can be quiet,
    A fart can be loud,
    Some leave a powerful,
    Poisonous cloud

    A fart can be short,
    Or a fart can be long,
    Some farts have been known
    To sound like a song......

    A fart can create
    A most curious medley,
    A fart can be harmless,
    Or silent, and deadly.

    A fart might not smell,
    While others are vile,
    A fart may pass quickly,
    Or linger a while......

    A fart can occur
    In a number of places,
    And leave everyone there,
    With strange looks on their faces.

    From wide-open prairie,
    To small elevators,
    A fart will find all of
    Us sooner or later.

    But farts are all bad,
    Is simply not true-
    We must never forget.......
    Sweet old farts like you!

    (This literally JUST arrived in my inbox while reading this post. Had to share. From me... a sweet old fart!)

  2. my curiosity is piqued! Do share ;-) (ya know, when you feel like it, in public forum!). And the road trip? Sounds like a BLAST!

  3. Lucky for you that you have an ass doing all the planning!

  4. i'm blowing town this weekend: five days in my old haunts in louisiana. it's been an enervating, awful february in a lot of respects, and i will be damn glad when it's over.

    have a blast on your trip. nothing like long, empty stretches of highway to reset yourself...

  5. I think that about now, Key West sounds totally awesome!!!!! Post pics, I need to live vicariously through all that sunshine. As for your potential maybe good news development, can't wait to hear about it if and when you decide to fill us in. :)