Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Fuck You Mother Nature

Dear Diary:

I feel robbed. Seriously, I do. This is just not fair. I hate being teased, and this is twice now in less than a month that I have been teased to the point of excitement and then let down. It's bullshit.

WHERE IS MY SNOW?!?!?!?!?!?!

Yeah yeah yeah. People around here go absolutely batshit crazy when there is even more than a dusting, but I for one enjoy shoveling snow. I find it relaxing. It's therapeutic. And even though I am still getting over a bad cold that has me coughing and sounding like a 4-pack-a-day smoker, I would have been out there shoveling and loving every minute of it.

BUT NO!!!! Only what, and inch? You cannot shovel an inch of snow. An inch of snow won't even last 24 hours in most cases (as I look out my window at the office it is practically gone now). I feel robbed. Cheated. This has to be the only place on earth where more than a couple of inches is considered way too much to handle (and yes I am obviously talking about snow...perverts).

Mother Nature, you lying cheating bitch you. Heartless banshee. Can you please get off your ass and send me a blizzard? Thanks, much appreciated.


  1. You can have all 15 inches here. TWSS.
    That is all.

  2. Well, I for one, am very willing to offer what little we got here in Dallas. Pretty but um... not a fan of cold wintry stuff.

    I am, however, a fan of the line "more than a couple of inches is considered way too much to handle" because apparently, I am a pervert.

  3. I don't get snow days at my job. The last snowpocalypse I had to drive in anyway. My car = on its last legs. Snow = the thing that will cause my car to break down. Blizzard = I have to go to work = car breaks down = I die.

    Do you really want me to die?

  4. I want more snow, too...damn weather.

  5. Dude you can have all you want, I've held up for 3 days and can't even get out of my driveway...

    I am so over this shiznit!

  6. i have to say that, as a gulf coast kid, i am an inveterate snow-hater and really quite glad to have dodged the bullet twice. but i did have to deal with the christmas-day snowstorm in the south while i was coming back from vacation. yeah, memo to the people of georgia: you can't plow an interstate highway with a metal-bladed plow when there's only 1/4 inch of snow. you just kick up sparks. idiots.

  7. I wished the first one away as I was traveling BUT...I really wanted a kick ass storm this time. I was all ready to shovel over and over. Something about last year and that insane amount of snow has me wishing for at least one good one this year. Keep up the is only Jan! :-))