Monday, December 13, 2010

Maybe Because....

Dear Diary:

"Maybe because you have the mouth of a sailor and most women don't want a man who uses the F word in regular conversation? Just a thought."

I am guessing that this was in response to the question that was posed at the end of this.

Now, I really do get frustrated and annoyed when people comment on you anonymously, particularly when it is generally the anonymous comments that somehow have a hint of condescension and come across as judgmental of my character and worth. Well, that is my impression of them, and since they are directed towards me, then my interpretation of them is ultimately the one that matters.

But I have to say, everyone only knows what they know about me to the the extent that I tell you, Diary, what I want to tell you. The vast majority of people that read you do not actually KNOW me. They can think they do, but ultimately, they don't. They know what I want them to know. Nothing more.

So, to assume that when I am actually on a date or having a meaningful conversation with a woman I am interested in that I talk like, "fuck that muthafuckin bullshit, that shit fucking cocksucking bullshit that it is, I mean what the fuck, damn," is not only completely asinine but it really does say a lot more about who is commenting than about what they are commenting on. I mean seriously, think about it for a minute. Do you think saying something like, "damn I want to fuck your tits," would make a good first impression? Me either. That is why I don't say idiotic crap like that.

But also to deny the fact that there are instances when cussing like a sailor is completely appropriate is somewhat ignorant. Like I said, I do not write about every single situation that arises in my life. This is not a chronicle of my daily routine but rather a string of vignettes, offering brief glimpses of what it is like to be me, or what I am thinking about at a particular time. And I cuss like a sailor at times, and many times I do not. I do not hold business meetings dropping F-bombs like I get paid to do it. Why? BECAUSE I AM NOT A FUCKING MORON! But out with friends at a bar? Sure, why not. And that is how I view most of the people that read you. As friends. Comrades in arms. Or some shit like that.

So I guess that begs the question as to why I write in rather a, oh, how can I say this appropriately, um, colorful manner? Well, I write what is on my mind, in the form it is shaping in my head while I am thinking it.

But why do I talk to you the way I talk to you? Well, I really do not have anyone else to talk to. Yes, I know that sounds somewhat sad and pathetic, but such is the state of affairs my life is currently in. I am not seeing anyone at the moment, nor am I even casually dating. It is somewhat lonely and depressing when most of your friends are married, and the ones that are single are younger than you for the most part. I do not want to feel like that poor unlucky loser that is sitting in the corner quietly because he doesn't have anyone to talk to. But that is how I feel sometimes since well, I thought I truly had what I always dreamed of, and lost it all. Sure, I have accepted that, but sometimes, it still does sting when I have no warm embrace to come home to when I am having a bad day.

But Diary, since I created you, I can, and will, say what ever the FUCK is on my mind. I will say it how I want to say it, when I want to say it, and if I want to yell and scream and say it while walking around naked holding my big fucking dick, then I will.

Oh wait, let me rephrase that - my large and impressive penis. Because I don't want to offend my readers and all....


  1. People on the internet are kind of obnoxious. You don't seem to curse more than average, for an internet blog.

  2. well, i, for one, am a woman who not only heartily endorses rampant and seemingly unnecessary profanity, but indulges in it myself.

    so tell those fucks to go fuck themselves. :)

  3. I'm with Mag, fuck 'em.. I love your fucking rants. Reminds me of mine. Carry on. ;)

  4. And of course everyone is being a fucking smartass by commenting anonymously....

    Except for Mags

  5. It's your blog and space in this world to say whatever you want. I rather enjoy it. It makes me laugh much more than it turns me off. Also, that person probably hasn't read your back story. I think if they had, they would have realized that you have many different sides.

  6. I set my blog to approve all comments. It pretty much weeded out the anonymous commenters who felt the need to pass judgment on my life.

    I also happen to not only cuss like a sailor, I also happen to laugh inappropriately at funerals and when my three year old uses "Oh damn" in a completely correct manner.

  7. I totally agree, this is your space, you always make me laugh, and if they are offended, they can just wander along on their merry way. Fuck 'em.

  8. Some of the people I know personally and read online, who use profanity prolifically, are women. Some of the bloggers especially, geez sunshine do you eat with that mouth also?!?!? You can use a proper noun or adjective every so often.

    Don't get me wrong, I love dropping the F bomb, there is no other word in the english language that carries quite the dramatic punch as that word.

    As the commenters here have already said, this is your world, you're the king. If you want to lay it down....then lay it down.

    Write on bro!

  9. Just don't say "tits" anymore. It's one of those words that makes me feel creepy inside. Like "moist."

    Matter of fact, why don't girls have good dirty slang words for their private parts? "Cunt" is insulting, "pussy" again is that creepy inside feeling, "boobs" seem like something a 12-year-old should be giggling and saying, "knockers" "jugs" or "funbags" are just ridiculous, and if you go for plain ol' "vagina," well that just seems COMPLETELY unsexy and clinical.

    And the sad part is, I actually really like dirty talk but find myself getting turned off every time anyone gets started on it as soon as they use one of the aforementioned words.*

    I am a walking contradiction.

    Wait, what were we talking about? I totally hijacked this and went in another direction.

    *but seriously, best just to keep it about yourself, like, "you are making me so hard" as opposed to "I want to fuck your tits."

  10. Your blog, your style. Do what you want...right? You would tell me the same (when I get frustrated with some commenters in the past, as we've discussed offline, and wow, did I just say offline? Hello buzz speak...). Embrace it!

  11. I think, "...I mean what the fuck, damn." might be my new favorite term if you don't mind me using it. But, if it's okay, I might run it all together and add the "damn" as emphasis at the end. Like "Imeanwhatthefuck? DAMN!" And yes, I am a female and swear far more than my husband. He finds it rather endearing, actually, to hear me screaming, "Shit! Shit! Shit!" when I do something that goes awry.

  12. Woohoo! I love a man who can fuck.

    I mean, say fuck.


    You go wit ya bad self!

  13. I'm not going to lie (please don't hate me!) - I've noticed you do use a lot of profanity on your blog...which is completely within your rights, but I will admit to bristling a bit when reading your posts of late. I think that this is not really a language issue for me, but is bothersome because the cursing seems to be coming from a more negative place than posts you'd written a month or two ago. The tone has changed, the vocabulary has not.

    I have the choice to NOT read it, though, so I agree that it's your site and you can say whatever you choose. I'm only responding to this because you asked. I have no business telling you to buck up, think good thoughts, etc., but I did want to offer up a non-anonymous opinion - and say that I hope that the tide turns for you, and soon. I'd much rather hear "Fuck, my life is fantastic!" than I would "Fuck my life."

  14. freckled, I would much rather say "fuck, my life is fantastic!" than "fuck, my life" as well.

    But I am living a comedy of errors at this point.

  15. I don't know, I have no issues with cursing in moderation, but using certain words such as "pussy" or dropping a lot of F-bombs would kinda turn me off a guy. I mean sure this is your blog - say what you want, but it's the ONLY view we have of you and when you ask questions like - why am I single - you can't get angry at an honest response.

  16. Correction, you certainly can get angry at the response, but responding to it only gives it more of a platform!

  17. If someone doesn't like your blog, they shouldn't read it. Damn, there's always a critic!

  18. Just to play devil's advocate, here are a few of my thoughts.

    First of all, don't ask the question if you don't want to open yourself up to criticism. People come from all different perspectives and they're not always going to see things the way you do. Your responses on this blog to criticism are often disturbingly hostile and personal, like calling someone retarded or giving them the virtual finger. It's not very mature and also not very conducive to winning an argument.

    It's that anger and defensiveness that makes me question whether you would be a good person to date. (I'm a dude-- I wouldn't date you anyway, but this might be what the commenter was getting at.)

    Secondly, I have no problem with cursing like a sailor. In my daily life I won't hesitate to let loose with a string of "goddam motherfucking assmunch sonofabitch"es. I have even been complimented on my ability to curse in German.

    But as a writer, and a reader, it can sometimes become tiresome if you do it too much. Nothing is more beautiful than a perfectly placed "motherfucker" to illustrate your feelings, but if "fuck" is every third word, it loses its power and its meaning. It becomes like white noise.

    Anyway, write what you want. You obviously have enough readers who like it to continue. These are just my thoughts. Take them or leave them.


  19. If it's you being who you are, then that's exactly what you should be. I'm just as bad, but it's worse because I'm a girl.

  20. never occurred to me that I shouldn't blog every thought I have or every event that happens to me. I swear to God, I have no censor, and maybe I need one.

    I think my proclivity to be honest hampers me sometimes. In fact, a lot of times.

    (God, I am so glad you're still blogging. Reading it makes me feel sane.)