I finally bought a Christmas tree a few days ago. It is 8 feet tall. White lights, silver ornaments. Silver star on top. It looks like how a Christmas tree should look. And it is real, so it smells like how a Christmas tree should smell.
It also apparently comes crashing down when it is out of balance and shatters many of the silver glass ornaments that you have hanging on it while you are upstairs, causing a fairly sizable mess comprised of pine needles, broken glass, and water (because if you do not keep them watered they can dry and catch on fire, and well, that would just fucking suck).
Fake trees do not do this. Why? Because you put them together and they are balanced. They also have practically no weight to them. But an 8 foot tree is not exactly light. Furthermore, it is a tree, with an actual trunk, that isn't what one would exactly call perfectly shaped. Close, but not quite.
But I do have the tree I've always wanted. At least that is something.