Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Wouldn't It Be Nice?

Dear Diary:

First of all, it is about 67 degrees here in the nation's capital the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. And while I am not one to complain, this makes absofuckinglutely no sense whatsoever. It is someone strange to walk outside and see the leaves changing color and falling everywhere, and yet it's, dare I say, warm out. I really hope this means we get a shit ton of snow this year. Otherwise I am going to be sadly disappointed.

But I digress...

Have you ever reached the point where you are just sick and tired of pretty much anything you can fucking think of? Nothing seems remotely anything other than shit at this point. Hence me telling you to to fuck off yesterday.

It is at this point that I know I need to get away.

It would be nice to go sit on some tropical beach, in complete solitude (like no one else on the beach, not even a toned, tan, and topless woman), with a beach chair and a bucket of cold Corona. Yes, those fuckers do taste better with your feet in the sand. I could just sit back, read, relax, and listen to the sound of the waves gently breaking upon the white sand beach. That would be heaven.

But I am not going to heaven, I am going to New Hampshire.

Now, don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with New Hampshire. New England is my home. But right now, I wish New Hampshire was about 1500 miles further south than it is. The beach I will see will be violent, with the cold Atlantic ocean crashing upon a rocky shore. It will not be warm out. It will be fucking cold I imagine.

But, I am going to be with family. This is the first time I have been to New England since early last year. I haven't seen my mom in about a year and a half (yeah, I know, I am a horrible fucking son), so it will be nice to be able to spend the holiday with her. And I have to say, there is just something about spending Thanksgiving in New England that is somewhat different than spending it anywhere else. Maybe it's the Pilgrim shit, I don't know, but it's definitely a different feeling.

And another good thing about New England is.......lobster. Lobster is about $14 a pound in this area, but in New Hampshire, it is about $5.30 a pounds at the moment. This means I will bring back, oh, maybe about a dozen lobsters from my trip.

Why? 'Cuz that's how I roll muthafucka


  1. You'll have a blast, I know it. And of course, let me know if you have any free time and maybe we can finally meet up for real.

  2. Oh, I can so relate to this.

    And I wish I was spending Thanksgiving back in New England too, either at home in CT or with family in New Hampshire. I agree that there is nothing quite like the holidays in New England.

    Have a good time.

  3. ooh. lobster. sounds yummy.

    being a southern girl, i have ideological differences with new england holiday cuisine (the dressing is just wrong to my way of thinking, for example), but i'm totally sure y'all's way is more authentic.

    have a fabulous time up north!

  4. Ok Mags, I am a weird hybrid. I am from New England, but my formative years were spent growing up in the South, in TX, right on the LA border, on the Gulf. So, I know southern food.

    That being said, it is stuffing, not dressing. You put the shit in the bird!!! While cornbread dressing is good, I will take stuffing over it any day of the week.

    There are a variety of types of stuffing. Either straight bread, or bread with cranberries, or sausage and apple, etc. BUT IT GOES IN THE FUCKING BIRD!!

    Fuck with my stuffing, and I'll cut you.

    But right now, I would kill a man for a good crawfish boil. Fuck I miss that shit.

  5. Have a nice holiday! Hope your feeling better too!

  6. Lobster sounds delicious. And you should take advantage of your New England location and go all pilgrim during the holidays!

  7. I love that a guy like you actually blogs. Thank God for your web presence.