Monday, November 8, 2010

Lexicon

Dear Diary:

I am not a fan of the word "date" these days. I mean, the word itself has so many different meanings. It could mean a particular month, day, and year when some event happened or will happen, or it could mean the day of the month. It could mean and inscription that shows the time, or time and place, of something written, cast, or delivered, or it can mean the time to which any event or thing belongs. It could mean a duration, or an appointment for a particular time. It can mean an engagement for an entertainer to perform, as well as the years of someone's birth and subsequent death. Not only can it mean a social appointment, engagement, or occasion arranged beforehand with another person, but it can mean the person with whom the aforementioned appointment, engagement, or occasion was made. And these are just definitions of the word used as a noun.

So basically, "date" is just too fucking complicated.

And because it is too complicated, I think we need to ban the use of the word in certain scenarios, specifically when it is used to describe a social appointment, engagement or occasion arrange beforehand with another person, as well as when defining the person with whom the aforementioned appointment, engagement, or occasion was made. I mean, there has got to be a better fucking word than "date" in the entirety of the English language that can be used to describe both of these, correct? Or do we have to create a new word, or even two?

How about "boondang"? I personally like the sound of it. "Hey man, sorry, can't hang tonight, got a boondang with that girl I told you about."

Now, you may be wondering how in holy fuck all did I come up with this particular new word. Well, I will tell you. Or better yet, let me paint you a mental picture.

You meet someone at a bar, first date, and you are nervous, so you order a drink, and drinks have what in them? BOOZE

You are talking, and having a nice discussion. You both seem interested in what each other is saying. What do the two of you create? A BOND

The afternoon/evening goes very well, the alcohol is flowing, and the conversation is stellar, and everything is firing on all cylinders. So, what do you two do? BANG (ok, obviously this doesn't happen EVERY time, but it does happen time to time, and to say it doesn't is a flat out lie)

So, now take those three words, and mash them together, and you have boondang (shut up, yes you fucking do, cause I said you do, now just go with it).

Now, the word can also be used to describe the person you have a boondang with. "Hey Jack, this is my boondang Sara." Or, "Amy, I can't wait until you meet my boondang Brian." Or, "Can I bring a boondang to the wedding or do I have to fly solo and end up getting drunk and saying inappropriate things on camera? Cause you know that will happen if I fly solo."

I like this word. It sounds a hell of a lot more badass than "date" does. It's got attitude. It's got balls. And in this day and age, when something old isn't working, what do you do? You repackage it, but without actually changing the fundamentals of it, you know, like Republicans. It's just all about marketing.

I think this calls for a movement.

11 comments:

  1. Just admit it. You. had. a. date.
    Er, boodang.
    Semantics ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I want to like it, I do. It just reminds me of Pootie-Tang, and gives me some unpleasant goosebumps.

    But the idea behind it? Like like like.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Freckled, haha, I am not sure what is worse. The fact that you saw that movie (if it can even be called that), or the fact that I saw it too, or the fact that what I wrote can remind someone of it.

    But it still calls for a movement

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm all for making up words. I like to tell people that since I have an English degree, I am authorized to make-up words. No; it doesn't always fly, but I still keep trying. (BTW, just found your blog from Jolene's site. I am off to read some of your back posts!)

    ReplyDelete
  5. The word movement? Also makes me shudder. Apologies. As much as I am a glass half-full kinda broad, clearly my mind is muddled with bathroom humor when words with multiple definitions arise.

    AND I did NOT see Pootie-Tang, thank you very much.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm a fan. It's more fun to say for sure.

    ReplyDelete