Tuesday, October 26, 2010

My Smile

Dear Diary:

I've been told I have a nice smile. That is when I smile these days. Which isn't often at the moment since I seemed to be bogged down in bullshit.

What I do know about my smile is that, well, after today, it is one expensive fucking smile.

Yes, I need dental work. How much you ask? How does getting a root canal sound to you? Oh, sounds like fun? Well then, how does having wisdom teeth removed an hour after the root canal sound to you? Like one big fucking party right?

On top of that, I need two crowns.

What? What is that sound? Oh, it is my bank account getting raped by a elephant, without any lube.

So I get to spend what should be a nice weekend recovering from having teeth pulled. I hope the people at the gym won't mind me spitting up blood on occasion, because I am sure that will happen at some point.

I just hope my brand new sheets don't get ruined. Because after all this, yeah, I am concerned about blood stains on the pillows. I mean, how would I explain that too all the women I bring back to my house?

Oh wait, there are none. Carry on.


  1. GAAAH. no fun. i've only ever had a root canal, and my god, that was enough. i desperately need my wisdom teeth pulled, but i'm without dental insurance at the moment (and also without the down time necessary to recover). hope things go as well as can be expected...

  2. Ah, thanks for the early morning chuckle. But seriously, sorry about the dental work, that sucks.

  3. Ouch. Hope it's relatively painless, all things considered. On the wallet and the teeth! Dull the pain with wine? ;-)

  4. Followed you here via The Non-Student's blog. I'm sorry. That just sounds all kinds of awful. Then again, I avoid dentists whenever possible so I'm sure I have a cavity or two (though how pathetic does that sound next to your extensive root canal/wisdom teeth/crown procedure?)

    Just make sure you get some good pain killers, rent some good movies, and settle in for some time on the couch :)

  5. Percocet is your friend! Tea bags help with swelling after wisdom teeth. Also make sure if you get dry sockets, they pack the wisdom teeth spots with clove oil.

    Good Luck and I like your blog

  6. 1. I've been catching up on some of your other posts. Well done sir. F'ing hilarious.
    2. I also found you via Non-Student.
    3. The last time I went to the dentist, she told me to think about going to one that sedates it's patients because I was having such a freak out, so you're already doing better than me.
    4. Do it for the pain killers.

  7. The alternate is crappy teeth, gums and breath. It costs sometimes to maintain your oral hygiene, but it's worth it. I wouldn't want to be kssin' on a potty mouth!