Sunday, October 31, 2010

Fuckin' Really?

Dear Diary:

Really?

Seriously?

Are you fucking kidding me?

Ok, so, obviously (if it isn't fucking obvious to you wake the fuck up) I am annoyed. Secondly, I am nicotine free and have nothing to take the edge off. Thirdly, my roommate has been a close friend of mine since we were in high school, but fourthly, at this point, I want to throw him and his shit out on the fucking street.

Because he has NO FUCKING CONCEPT OF WHAT IT MEANS TO PICK UP AFTER HIMSELF.

I am not a god damn maid.

As far as a few examples, he has NOT FUCKING ONCE cleaned the bathroom. He has not once wiped down the counter when he leaves water on it except when I tell him (um, it's a brand new granite counter top, and if he ruins it, I will break his hand), and, just for shits and giggles, when a dog he was babysitting apparently PISSED ON MY STAINLESS STEEL TABLE, he let is sit there.

How do I know he let it sit there? Because as I was eating a bowl of mashed squash I look over and notice that the floor has a water spot on it right on the leg, and then I move closer, and it is yellow. And dry.

I mean seriously? You are 32 fucking years old. If I have to tell you to pick up anything after yourself again, I will be telling you with my fucking boot on your throat, literally.

Fuck that bullshit. This is my god damn house, and if you want to treat it like a fucking joke, then find somewhere else to live. I get by fine without you pitching in money. But you are unemployed, and have been for a fucking year.

Don't forget I am doing this because you are a friend. If you take advantage of me I will kick the shit out of you.

4 comments:

  1. You might want to consider the nicotine patches for a few days. Just a suggestion....hope you feel better really soon!

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  2. Ugh. How long is he staying?? Any end date in sight? I hate roommates.

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  3. I agree with Jolene. Set a limit so he has some motivation.

    ReplyDelete