Saturday, October 2, 2010

Fire and Smoke

Dear Diary:

And then there was fire.......

And not just any fire, but MY fire. The fire I have been waiting for roughly 21 months.

That's right baby, daddy has a grill! And not just any grill. A five burner gas grill with side burner. The grill the size of a small automobile. The grill that I have been waiting for for what seemed like a fucking eternity.

And I do not want to hear that it is October and grilling season is over. Fuck that noise. Grilling season is never over. If you have meat and you have fire, then put on a sweatshirt if you have to. I know I will.

This is the first gas grill I have owned. I decided not to go all out and buy the $800 Weber that I have been drooling over for the last year since well, A) I haven't won the lottery, and B) one does not go all out on their first grill. If I want that mack daddy stainless steel motherfucker with the rotisserie spit that gives me a chubby when I look at it, then well, I will get it, but not right now.

Right now, I am perfectly happy with the grill I have. Not only did it not cost me an arm and a leg, but it does the job, and can grill a shit ton of meat (yes, shit ton is an actual measurement of weight, because I said so). For instance, what you see is a dozen drumsticks and eight turkey burgers. What you don't see is the marinated flank steak that went on right after. Not to mention the fact I am going to load that fucker with kabobs tomorrow.

But...but...but...Divorced Guy, where oh where did you put such a beautiful grill?

Right on my big fucking DECK.

(get your mind out of the gutter)


  1. Ooo, that is a sexy grill! You can cook me turkey burgers any day ;)

  2. Oh my God, you're gonna die of a meat over dose!

  3. ooh. that looks AMAZING. and i'm so with you on the grilling anytime. well, except maybe in a snowbank...