Wednesday, August 25, 2010


Dear Diary:

T-Minus 6 days until my cast is removed. Now, this does not mean that I have regained the sensation that was cut (no pun intended...ok, yeah, it was intended) away as a result of the original injury, but I have felt tingling, which is a positive step. What this DOES mean though is that I will no longer have this medieval torture device strapped around my hand.

This is good.

So, you may be wondering what I am going to do with my regained freedom. And the answer is........

I'm going to clean. My roommate, while he is a likable and personable chap, couldn't clean a bathroom if you drew him a fucking map with pictures. So, needless to say, cleaning has been a bit of a chore while I have been one-handed. Holding a mop is not that easy.

I'm going to be able to shower like a normal person. There will be no more blue newspaper bags covering my cast and making me look like a damn alien. Have you ever tried to wash under your arm while using the hand that is attached to said arm? Yeah, I looked like a blue armed alien monkey doing that. Same goes for putting on deodorant.

I'm going to wear shirts with buttons. Have you ever put on a button-down collared dress shirt one handed successfully? Well, neither have I.

I'm going to cut my hair. Tried it one-handed. Degree of difficulty - 8.7.

I'm going to fix my stoop and paint it. Can you imagine using a soldering iron one handed, melting metal? I'm in a cast because of a stupid mistake. I don't need another one.

I'm going to hit the gym. Well, I'm going to use elliptical machines and work on my legs. Doing bench presses or bicep curls will have to wait six weeks.

I'm going to run. I'll throw on my iPod and try to get my fat ass back to where I could do six miles.

Last but not least...

I'm going to make guacamole. Cause you know, if I don't, the terrorists win.


  1. I had a cast removed recently and let me tell you, it's HEAVEN being able to move around! I'm really happy for you :)

  2. haha - give those avocados what for. bastards. glad to hear the cast is almost off!

  3. Ah, NOW I see the blue armed alien reference. I still don't get it though ;-) And um, go easy on them avocados!

  4. that was an enlightening one handed commentary. Thanks for the monkey scrubbing your pit with the same hand, good stuff.....good!