I had a date this afternoon, and while getting ready, I was looking for a pair of shoes in my storage closet, and stumbled upon something I had not seen in a while.
Having not stepped on a scale in what seems like months, I was a bit apprehensive, but figured I should get it over with and see whether or not I had kept pace with my diet and exercise. I had not.
That is what it read. 264 fucking pounds. That is 16 pounds lighter than I was when I first started really dropping weight in September of 2006. That is 44 pounds heavier than I was right before my ex and I split up. That is 24 pounds heavier than I was in October.
Fuck me royally.
All the hard work I had put into becoming a healthier man vanished. I can honestly say that I have never, and I mean ever, been more disappointed in myself. I sit here literally dumbfounded.
How the fuck could I let myself do that? How the fuck could I not pay attention like that? How the fuck can I expect anyone to notice me when I look in the mirror and can actually see that something is not going right? FUCK FUCK FUCK.
My goal was to be at 200 pounds by Labor Day of this year. I have a big reunion that weekend and I wanted to look and feel great for it.
Now, to some, 200 pounds is a lot of person, but on my frame, with muscle, 200 pounds isn't that big at all. I will look healthy quite honestly, and if it dips lower than 200, you won't see me fucking crying about it.
But 264, yes, you will see me cry about that.
So, I of course searched on the web for any type of tip that I could find about how to safely lose weight, any type of calorie counter/calculator I could find, and I found this:
This a story of a guy who one day looked at himself and said, "Enough is ENOUGH!"
I have been reading some of his postings, and they are nothing but awe inspiring. This is a man that has lost so far about 140 pounds and he has done it in just over a year. If this kid can do it, so can I.
It really was inspiring to read about someone who has felt some of the same things that I have over the course of my life. It is also inspirational in the fact that this guy has just dropped weight by busting his ass and eating healthy.
If he can do it, so can I.
So, after my date, I came home and went straight to the gym where I did some upper body work and hit the treadmill for 2 miles. Tomorrow I am going to begin putting myself though utter hell for the next I do not know how many months.
I have 21 weeks until Labor Day weekend. I plan on losing on average about 1.5 to 2 pounds per week until that weekend, which will put me somewhere in the 220 to 230 pound range. I will provide updates on my progress through here. By New Years, I plan on being either close to my goal, or at it.
If he can do it, so can I.
Fuck this shit, so WILL I.