I have written on why I write, but why do you listen?
Is it that my life is that interesting? Because honestly, it isn't. Is it because you are trying to find some type of reason in something? Because I can offer nothing as far as enlightenment goes.
Do you listen to me because you want to see if I am going to write some off the wall bullshit that leaves you laughing so hard you shit yourself? Well, I must admit, while I have laughed while writing some of this stuff, I sincerely hope you haven't had to change your shorts as a result of my words. If you have, I might have to invest in toilet paper (and I am talking about on the market, not buying enough to survive an apocalypse).
Do you listen because you can relate? If you can, that is good, I guess. However, I hope you cannot relate to everything. Lord knows I have had my share of fuck ups in this life.
Do you listen because you understand? Well, that's kind of like relating isn't it? So I guess I just asked this question twice, didn't I?
Do you listen because you need some mind numbing shit to read at the end of your unbearably long day? If so, maybe I should sell subscriptions. Daddy needs a new pair of shoes!
Do you listen because you are bored, and need something to kill time? If so, see above. Still need those shoes!
Do you listen because you have nothing better to do? If that is the case, I suggest a hobby. Maybe something along the lines of pottery, or world domination.
Or do you listen because you get it?