Anger cannot be dishonest
I like to look at quotes every so often. Sometimes I look for funny ones, and sometimes I look for the simple ones that resonate. The above quote resonated.
When are we are most honest? Is it when we are happy? I don't think so, for when we are happy, we oftentimes will say or do anything to keep that feeling of happiness.
Is it when we are sad? No, I do not believe it is, for sometimes we will try to find excuses for why we feel a certain way.
Is it when we are afraid? No, I do not believe it is, for we will, depending on the situation, say or do anything to alleviate that sense of fear.
But when we are angry, watch out.
When we are angry, we release that which has been kept inside us. We explode with such a ferocity of emotion that we find truth. We see who we are at that very moment. We understand why we feel a certain way. We tell people what we really think.
Anger is honest because it is real. In that very moment, we are true to our feelings, and true to our thoughts.
However, that seems to beg the question of whether or not we are our true selves when we are angry, or when we are not angry? If there is honesty in anger, are the times when we are not angry just glimpses into our real selves?
I called my ex-wife a cunt in anger. Did I mean it? Yes. Did I believe she was at that time I said it? Yes. I told her I hated her in anger. Did I mean it? Yes. Did I honestly hate that woman at the time I told her I hated her? Yes, yes I did. Did I lash out and do stupid things in anger (like fuck every single woman that I could)? Yes, I did.
But, am I am monster because in those moments of anger I let flow all that I was feeling and thinking? No, I do not believe I am.
I was just being honest. I think I was just being honest because at that point, I had nothing left to lose.
So, in a way, anger is freeing. Anger provides a mechanism for a release that we otherwise would not have reached. So, on that basis, anger is healthy, right? I mean, what is healthier, to keep what we are feeling bottled up inside, or to release it in order to get it out of our system?
I believe that releasing it provides the ability to grow, and move forward. Think of it this way. If we were to just keep everything bottled up inside, then it would eat away at us and stunt our growth, because we would be so fixated on that which was bottled up that we lose perspective on what is happening in the present. Without that release, we live in the past, and we let it fester inside ourselves until it destroys us.
They say the truth will set you free, and if anger cannot be dishonest, then anger reveals the truth (however brief it may be in that particular instance) correct? If that is the case, and in anger we can find truth, then anger is nothing more than a mechanism to set us free. It sets us free of our emotions and thoughts.
And this may be why it is such a necessary step in healing, because it allows us to move forward.