Saturday, February 20, 2010


Dear Diary,

Pain is good. You see, happiness is hard to describe. When you are happy, you are just well, happy. Find me someone that is able to effectively describe what happiness entails, and I will find a way to show that their argument falls short. This generally leads to a discussion like, "Well, I just am, ok?"

Pain however, that is easy to describe. You know it the second you are in it. You know it the second you are no longer in it. Pain is comforting, because it is not neutral.

This is also true in the physical sense. When you are not in physical pain, things seem to stay within a constant neutrality. You just coast.

But when you are in pain, you sure as shit know it.

Right now, I am in pain, physically speaking. Today, I went to the gym. The pain is comforting. The pain makes me feel alive. The pain was a result of honest effort. This pain is good. It is liberating.

Pain is generally the result of quick and drastic change.

Pain is good. Change is good.

Well, unless you get shot, stabbed, or get kicked in the balls, then, not so much.


  1. You are moving forward! Change is good. I am in pain too from the yoga I tried the other day. But you're right, it's a good pain. Keep looking ahead. All my best, Pippi

  2. This is why a lot of cutters do what they do- to "externalize" internal, emotional pain, so that it becomes physical, visual and therefore quantifiable.... and thus a bitter cycle.

    On a much more positive note, at least you are channeling your pain toward something healthy that will make you both mentally and physically stronger. Endorphins are a good thing. Sweat it out... .off to do the same.

    One more thought- I usually get pretty horny after a workout. Must be all that seratonin slushing around in the brain.

  3. Brett, thanks for that last little tidbit. It just made my day ;)

  4. Ha, horny after a workout - that's a new one I haven't heard before! Anyway, I agree - pain is good in this sense! One of the many reasons I too love a good, painful workout ;-) Keep it up, good work!! You'll be in fighting form for our blog family reunion!

  5. Hopefully I will be in heartbreaking form by then.


  6. LOL heartbreaking form - good description ;-)