Monday, February 1, 2010

Girl 7

Dear Diary,

So, I was talking to jolene1079, who is the author of To Be Determined, one of the better divorce and starting over related blogs out there today (she is also wicked fucking hot!). After a bit of back and forth where I found out she threw up my last blog entry on Twitter and made me famous, I said I was going to write, and asked her what I should write about. Her answer: the latest with Girl 7.

So, where is Girl 7? Well, she is actually out of the area for the next six weeks on a work related assignment. She may come back to town for a weekend where I am sure we will see each other, but other than that, it is only text messaging and the occasion phone call.

But where do things stand between us?

Fuck if I know.

I really do not know how to explain it. We get along great, and I like her, and well, certain areas (read into it what I know you are thinking) are good, but there is just something that right now is not there for me. I cannot put my finger on it, but something seems to be missing, and I do not know what it is. Does that make me an asshole? I don't know (although some think I already am one).

The thing is, I like her, but not as much as maybe I should at this point? Hell, I think I am rambling. Oh, and something that threw a wrench into my whole train of thought is that Sunshine sent me an email today, said she was thinking of me with all the changes that are going on in my field of work, and thought she would say hello. At which point I responded, and we talked about running, and she said if I ever wanted to go on a run to let her know. Great......

I guess I just don't know what I am supposed to be doing or feeling. I don't know if I ever told you this before, I did not date prior to meeting my ex-wife. I just didn't. Hell, I was over 300 fucking pounds and was just "the friend" with women prior to meeting my ex. Now, although I have a few pounds I want to drop, I am much healthier, and my confidence is up, and I am still getting more women showing interest in me, and well, fuck.

Maybe I am just reading too much into things, but there is a very big part of me that doesn't want to hurt Girl 7 in any way because she is so damn sweet and kind and caring, and she makes me feel good. But there is that other part where I see so many similarities between her and my ex that I am freaked out a bit.

Oh well, time will tell I guess. I am beat.

6 comments:

  1. I'm blushing ;-) Thanks for such kind words - as I said, I don't think I've ever been called "fuckin hot" before, but that's just way too fab - ha! The unsettling can't put your finger on it feeling probably means you should move on, but it's tough, I am sure, as she is great, things are working well between you on all fronts, so why mess with it? Perhaps time will tell?

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  2. If there is doubt, uncertainty, sparks aren't there...whatever your reason. If you're not there with her 100%, then you need to retreat and be honest with her. She'll be pissed, but in the long run she'll respect you more for it. And in the meantime, have some fun. I think you've earned it.

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  3. Go with your gut. First time visitor. Will be back, often.

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  4. it's there or it's not. there will be other women. follow your instinct.

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  5. Well, I'm hooked.

    Look forward to reading more...

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  6. Dear Diary, what the hell is going on over there? Need an update.

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