Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Exhaustion

Dear Diary:

Have you ever felt like you could just use a break? I mean, a break from everything? Because if you have, you know where I am coming from.

I am dead tired, both physically and emotionally. I have hit my limit as far as what I can take at one time. Balancing work, renovations, dating (err rather, dating limbo), family in town for a wedding, and well life in general has been a real battle.

As a result of this balancing act, the one thing I forgot to take care of was myself. I have been drinking more than normal, and have been eating crap that I shouldn't eat because it was convenient. I have not had the chance to go for a run in two and a half weeks because after I am done everything for the day, I do not have the energy to take a shit much less exercise. As a result, I have gained about 9 pounds. All the hard work that I had done was erased in a week and a half. So, that is a bit depressing.

So, I need to get to the gym. But how? When? Not only do I have to get this fucking house done and deal with work, but I also have to pack because the moving truck is coming on the 21st. I have no idea how I am going to pull this off, but I really do not have a choice.

On the dating front, I am taking a break. Girl 6 has, for lack of a better term, completely blown me off. I was upset about this, but, there isn't much I can do about it. I just wish I hadn't had slept with her.

I would like nothing more right now that to hope a plane to Mexico and stay in a hotel with an ocean front room and wake up every morning to a nice hot cup of coffee while sitting on the balcony listening to the waves come in. But the odds of that being able to happen right this second are about as good as me winning the lottery tonight.

Another thing I have not had much time to do is catch up on all the other divorce related blogs that are out there, and there are some good ones. I feel like I should be reading them more, either to just check up on some of my readers, or to offer a word or two to let them know that they aren't alone. However, with the mental state I am in, I don't think I could offer anything that would make any sense.

Fuck, I don't even know what else to say here, how am I supposed to say something else somewhere else?

I need a nap.

9 comments:

  1. Agreed - you are being hard on yourself! But I'll be honest - your post made ME tired ;-) Good luck, hang in there!!

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  2. Well I'm sorry for your dating troubles...really, I'm quite sympathetic. But please guy, try to keep it in your pants. Being a man-whore will not bode well for future relationships with women, trust me on this. I do wish you better luck and hope you find a good companion. For your own health and safety though, keep your di*k in your pants before you end up regretting something even worse (like herpes)!

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  3. Ok Anonymous, why is it just because I sleep with a woman after we date for a month I am a man whore? Secondly, what makes you think I got anything? I wish I didn't sleep with her because now I feel like crap because she blew me off.

    I mean, do you have some kind of guidebook that I need to be following that says I can no longer have sex with a woman I date for a month because that makes me a man-whore?

    What, is there a fucking time period that I need to be paying attention to? Like I can't have sex with a woman I date unless I date her a year?

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  4. My goodness, I didn't mean to offend you. I guess I remembered a few posts back (maybe several posts back?) where you said you were having a LOT of casual sex...so much so that you were sick of cheap sex and wanted something more substantial. I only meant to call attention to the fact that maybe you're not taking the higher road that you had previously wanted to. It is certainly your life and please do live it as you see fit. I disagreed with your behavior, but did not mean to condemn you personally.

    On a public blog where people are free to comment, you sort of have to take what advice applies to you and leave the rest...I think it's safe to assume you won't be taking my advice! Which is ok. Best wishes to you.

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  5. Anonymous, I had said that I HAD it, not was having it. I did take the high road and didn't just jump into bed with this girl.

    I guess my question is, what behavior did you condemn if I took time to get to know Girl 6 before we slept together?

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  6. I'm just a puritanical Catholic, so don't mind me. As far as I'm concerned one month is waaayyyyy to soon, for the exact reason that you mentioned (getting blown off). But to each their own...I understand different people are comfortable with different time-frames, and that's fine. Do what seems right in your own heart...you know what's best for you.

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  7. Hey, I found a funny video for you about dating and male quandries...

    http://www.youtube.com/user/AgentXPQ#p/u/5/xXmPFJqTHKo

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  8. I'd also like to go to Mexico.

    And I don't think 1 month is waaayyyyy to [sic]soon.

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