Sunday, November 22, 2009

And Here We Go Again....

Dear Diary:

Girl 7 and I had our third date tonight. Friday she had asked that if I wanted to have dinner at her place Sunday (tonight), that is if I managed to give myself a break from unpacking. I of course said I would love to, which brings me to tonight.

I had dinner at her place tonight. I have to say her apartment is pretty damn awesome and she made me feel very comfortable. She went all out really with dinner and dessert (she even makes her own ice cream!) and I had a great time.

Now the funny thing about a first kiss is there is so much riding on it when you think about it. The timing has to be there. The moment has to be right. Even when you sense that both parties are heading in that direction, one simple miscue can throw it all off. You also don't want to get carried away with the first one. No one wants to fuck up a first kiss. Anyone who says they don't care about it is full of shit in my book.

I was nervous about kissing her and I don't know why. I haven't had any trouble with my recent first kisses but this one had me thrown off a bit.

She had given me my jacket and I put it on to leave and when we hugged goodbye we kissed. Her kiss felt well, good, but more than good. Refreshing? Warm? Peaceful? It is hard to really describe but I definitely did like it.

Now, another thing about Girl 7, and I mentioned this briefly before, is that she frew up in the same state my ex-wife grew up. Let me be more specific. The two of them grew up about 45 minutes away from each other.

For some reason I am having an interesting time dealing with this reality. It's not a bad thing, but it is so random and ironic that it seems a bit off. I am definitely not holding this agaist Girl 7 by any means, but it sure as hell will make for an interesting conversation when the subject of my divorce comes up.

Speaking of that, I have gotten input from friends and coworkers (and even you) about when is the best time to bring that up. One has said that it should be brought to light before I sleep with a woman. Another has said don't say anything until I have dated a woman for a while. Another has said it's no one's business really. Another has said be upfront about it. But when?

I don't hide from my divorce. It has turned out to be the best thing that could've happened to me. But there is that fear in the back of my head that reminds me that some will judge me for something that I endured. That somehow it is a reflection on me that I am divorced and it really isn't.

I mean, I cannot be sorry for the hand I was dealt if I ended up winning the pot right?

(Written on a crackberry. If the above made no sense, well tough shit)


  1. Sounds like things are starting off very nicely with you and #7 :-) Enjoy the pace.

    I personally would want to start off a relationship with complete honesty and if you are wondering when to tell someone you are divorced,then you are sort of holding off information. I am not saying you are lying but I would think it would feel much better to just share stuff earlier than later. As a woman I would want to know pretty soon simply because I want to know those things ;-) It would make me feel more secure about the person I was starting to really like if I knew he wasn't holding something back from me. It isn't like you have 3 kids and an ex somewhere but it is a part of who you are and have become so I would want to hear about it.

    LOL about the crackberry comment.

  2. I think you know my feeling on this (BTW congrats on the good date/first kiss!). For me, I'd rather get it out there upfront, so it doesn't appear bigger than it has to be, when you finally do disclose it. Then it's out there, it's not a big deal (anymore!) and I'm over it. my two cents ;)

  3. I agree with the other comments about being upfront about it. I’ve been divorced for about a year and a half now, currently seeing someone, and it was something I got out of the way early on. Sure some women are scared away by divorced men, but is that really the type of woman you want to date? My girlfriend’s response to me sharing this was perfect: everyone has a past. Be open, honest and upfront about it.

  4. I hadn't read your blog in a while but after reading your latest entries I wish I would have started a blog when my separation started so I could see the progression of myself documented. My divorce is not finalized yet but its getting close to that and I am amazed at myself for the progress and the journey I went through. I really have nothing for me to look back and read through. I did keep a journal for a minute at the beginning but reading it now I was in a sad pathetic place. Since I turned the corner I didnt blog/document any of that. Just wanted to give you kudos for this blog, sharing it with us and yourself. I have started dating and I sympathize with your dating life so I am seriously thinking about starting a blog and you sir have encouraged that.