Friday, October 16, 2009


Dear Diary:

Admit it, you missed me. You cannot deny it. You have been wondering what I have been up to. You have been wondering if I am completely gone from this little exercise. You have been wondering if I died in some horrific car crash. You have been wondering what the hell has been keeping me so damn busy that I couldn't speak to you.

Well, stop wondering. Because I have never left, I have just been swamped.

You know, life has a funny way of just, well, happening. When it does happen, you are not always prepared for it. Hell, sometimes you think you are prepared for it, and then when it actually happens, you realize that you weren't even close to being prepared. But it's life, so you roll with the punches, take your hits, deliver some blows, and move on the best you can.

I had quite a bit of a shock the last couple of weeks to tell you the truth. The house I am working on is technically not mine, it is my dad's. It's his little project really, and I am just managing it. However, that being said, he wants me to buy it from him, and if the price is right, not only will I have a mortgage again, but he will eliminate the roughly $20,000 that I owe him as a result of him bailing me out financially from my divorce, and he will give me a refund of possibly $25,000 at closing.

Yes, you heard me correctly. What I said is what he told me. Even if he doesn't kick me back any money, I will own a house (which is pretty fucking nice at the moment, you should see the floors!), and be out of debt to him. When it actually hit me that my financial nightmare could be over by February, I literally cried.

You know, I really do think that with the entire process of divorce, the actual emotional damage and the legal process itself is the easy part to deal with. The aftermath, particularly the financial aftermath, can linger for quite some time. Once the emotional hurdle is cleared, you literally have to reset everything. Your living and spending habits, your debt management, your cash flow, all of it needs to be reevaluated and reset to work within your new reality. Once that sets in, and if you are like me, see nothing but an endless string of interest payments, it can bring you down a bit.

I mean, consider this. In April of 2008, I was completely debt free. My student loans were paid off. I had no credit card bills. Life was financially manageable, and I even had money in savings. And now, I still seem to be struggling. My credit card payment is at least $300 a month, and I don't charge anything anymore, and I still have about $20,000 that I need to pay my dad. I went from zero to roughly $30,000 in the hole in roughly six months, and my savings was completely eviscerated. Basically, I was where I was when I graduated college. I had my whole financial life set back a decade.

And now, in a matter of months, it could all be over. I could be completely back on my feet.

I love you dad. Thanks for sticking by me, even when I am a pain in the ass (which is very often I might add).

1 comment:

  1. Funny (not in a "ha-ha" way) how divorce drains the funds, isn't it? So glad to hear that things are turning around for you! The floors/house sounds awesome!