Can you please slap me in the fucking head? Just do it right fucking now. If you haven't figured it out, I am fucking royally pissed off. Irate even. While apparently Sunshine thinks we have chemistry, she doesn't think we have passion. Her explanation of passion is not wanting to rip each other's clothes off every time we see each other and not being able to keep our hands off each other.
So, let me get this straight. I am myself, and treat a woman with respect, kindness, don't let her walk over me so I look like a chump, and we have a great time together. The kisses we shared was like making out like high school kids, and every single time we were together in either of our apartments we were cuddled up like it was supposed to be that way. She told me she loved waking up next to me and asked me to promise to always kiss her goodnight.
Yet, and I quote, "I'm just not sure I could see us sleeping together."
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
Let me get this straight. Like I said earlier, I have been able to fuck at will for about a year. I still have women that I have fucked asking me to fuck them again. I treat them like fuck toys, don't really respect them (well, I respected a few of them), and take what I want, and yet they want me to keep fucking them. I play the asshole card, or more of the boy next door who is a bit of an aloof dick, and get laid.
But I actually am myself, who is really just a guy with a big heart who doesn't like to see people hurt, and I am told there is no passion. What the absolute fuck does that mean?
Does that mean I should continue to go through life faking it and treating women like they are there for me to use as my own personal amusement park? If you ask me, that is a shitty way to live and I can't bring myself to do that anymore. I sowed my wild oats, had the random hook-ups, brought women back to their hotel rooms and fucked them senseless. I cannot do it anymore (well, unless she were smoking hot...nah, still can't).
I am myself, and last week, everything was going great, and then she puts up a fucking wall larger than Troy, and I am still sitting here waiting for her to make a decision that she will never make. And the decision has NOTHING to do with sex. It has to do with taking her wall down and just experiencing something.
Bullshit, fuck this, FUCK FUCK FUCK.
Why do I seem to attract women who are emotionally unavailable, or flat out mentally unbalanced?
Fuck this fuck it fuck it fuck it. If I wanted to play games, I would have joined a softball league.