Monday, July 13, 2009

Dating, Part Deux

Dear Diary:

So, as I had mentioned before I am exploring the world of online dating. I do have to say it is a bit intimidating. I basically put up some information about myself, threw up a couple of pictures of myself, and rolled the dice to see if anyone responds to me or seeks me out.

It's like torture, only without any physical scars (yet).

Now, as far as it is intimidating, it is also equally parts fun and exciting. These are women whom I would not have otherwise met. That is one downside of living in a metropolitan area. There are really great people out there, but the odds of you running into them and getting to know them are fairly small, if they exist at all. But, they are out there. Some of them in fact want the same things out of life as I do. Some of them are emotionally healthy. Some of them are cute even (although the really really really really hot one's seem to just pass on me, their loss).

So far, I have gone out with three different women, and I have another date tonight with someone new, and one more that wants to meet up. Here is a brief history:

Girl 1 - She was cute. She was also a smartass, and we could laugh at a lot of things. She also had mental issues, and when she drank, it was not pretty. Needless to say, we don't communicate anymore.

Girl 2 - She was funny, charming, cute, and we had a good conversation. I think I may get together with her some time this week, but nothing has been nailed down yet.

Girl 3 - She is my favorite by far so far. She is adorable, funny, and we seem to have a lot of the same things in common. She is also a Red Sox fan, which in my book is always a bonus. She went to school in the same city that I did, so we had a lot to talk about, and I enjoyed being with her. We are also going to try to get together again soon.

Girl 4 is tonight, and Girl 5 is later this week. There may be a Girl 6, and hell, there may even be a Girl 23. And of course that brings me down to my point. Dating is fun if you have no expectations. I think that if you go into the whole dating game looking for someone in particular (such as my future next ex-wife), you will get disappointed. I go into the whole thing with no expectations, and it has worked out well. It allows me to be more relaxed and be myself.

Now, as far as the myself that I am, I am well, me, except for one tiny bit of information. I do not disclose my divorce right away. I take the time to allow the woman I am with to get to know me. If after a time things are going well, that is when I will disclose the fact that I am divorced. I think they have a right to know (especially if things go very very well and I get engaged or something, since I have to bring the divorce decree to get a marriage license again, but that is jumping WAY ahead of myself). Like I said before, I am divorced, not damaged. If after I tell them these women bolt, then honestly, I think I dodged a bullet.

And that is all I have to say about that, for now...


  1. I really think you should disclose your divorce upfront. Like in your profile where it says status. If I met a guy and he didn't tell me until we were in the "I Love You" stage then I would think he had been dishonest with me. And if someone is not interested in you because you are divorced, then you don't want then anyway.

    When I did online dating I made sure it was on my profile. It is nothing to be ashamed of and it is a part of who I am.

    One other comment I have about today's topic is that online dating can be addictive, particularly if you are attractive enough to get a lot of dates. When I did it I found that I was super critical of every guy I went out with because I knew I could get another guy by the following weekend. And then there is the thought that I could always do better.

    So don't try to make "Girl 23" a real goal.

    My two cents...

  2. Wow - how funny...I've decided to hit the dating waters myself - eek...joined, we'll see how it goes. 6 women in a week - damn, impressive ;-)