Monday, June 22, 2009

Another Year On This Planet

Dear Diary:

This weekend I celebrated a birthday. Well, more like acknowledged a birthday because I really do not like celebrating mine. The only time I remember within the last decade that I was excited about my birthday was when I was married, but, since that is no longer the case, it is just another day to me.

When the clock struck midnight and my birthday had actually arrived, I was at a nice little dirty basement bar with a bunch of friends. We had gone there to meet up and have some beer. Now the place I went to was not the cleanest of places, but the beer list was, for lack of a better description, fucking amazing. Furthermore, the bar food that they served consisted mainly of good burgers and tater tots. I mean seriously, who doesn't like tater tots? I will tell you who. Communists. I bet those bastards hate them. Also, the place had fried pickles. All sexual innuendos involving pickles fly out the window when you are trying to eat those fuckers right out of a vat of oil. Talk about heat. But anyway....

So, the clock strikes midnight, and get to welcome in my birthday courtesy of a female friend giving me a bit of a lap dance, with of course all other friends taking pictures. Fun times. Unfortunately, that was the closest I got to getting any on this momentous day.

After the bar, I just went home and crashed. I was beat from the combination of the long night and the swamped week at work, and my bed was calling my name.

I woke up and it was a day just like any other, except it wasn't. I was a year older. Was I a year wiser? Eh, after last year, I probably am a decade wiser, but then again I can be an arrogant prick and think I know way more than I do, but, still, you get my point, I hope. The first thing I did on my birthday was what I did last year: got coffee. I mean, it was my birthday, so I was going to let someone else brew that pot for me.

That afternoon, AJ came over. She was wearing a nice blue dress that showed beautiful cleavage and looked absolutely radiant. She really was purely beautiful, and thankfully the brain on the top of my shoulders overruled the brain in my pants and I did not wrap her in my arms and plant on on her (but I wanted to!). She came bearing gifts too. She had gave me a candle, some spices, a stainless steel bar used to rub the garlic smell off one's hands, a plant, and she baked me a birthday cake. The birthday cake was what really got to me, as she had decorated it with little flags and pictures of things we have talked about over the last ten months or so. I almost cried because it was so unbelievably thoughtful.

We then went out to lunch, and talked, and she told me stories of her recent trip to the tropics. We then walked around a bit and just talked some, and then I showed her some new apartment buildings as she is thinking of moving. And then we went back to my place......and she went home.

That evening was spent over at my brother's place, grilling out and shooting the shit. Nothing too fancy and nothing too crazy. It was good to see him as we don't get to hang out much. I ate more grilled chicken than I probably should have, along with ton's of fattening stuff, but I will just work it off at the gym.

When I got home, I looked at the cake that AJ had made me, and honestly, I felt a bit sorry for myself. She had put candles on it, but there was no one there to watch me blow them out. I felt as if I was in a movie of some sort, where the lonely soul has no one to share anything with. So I lit the candles, and sang Happy Birthday to myself, and blew them out. I didn't make a wish because it seems as if anything that I actually want, or want to be a part of, blows up in my face at some point and I am left alone to pick up the pieces.

But the cake was good.


  1. Dude, snap out of it! You celebrated your birthday with friends...and tater tots! Don't start this year out on a low note, think of all the excited things that are in store for you.

    Happy Birthday!

  2. Happy Birthday! The whole AJ thing just seems interesting. I find it hard to believe she doesn't want more with you than friendship. The whole cake decorating and presents etc. Maybe she did want you to take her in your arms and change the course of that friendship. ;-)

  3. I hate hash browns, but love tater tots (with LOTS of ketchup). I can't explain it, but it's true.

    And Happy Birthday! I agree with the poster above that I'm questioning the AJ thing. I have only EVER baked men cakes in my life for a few reasons - 1. for my grandfather because I wanted him to be proud of me (so for family memebers) or 2. because I cared deeply for them and was either IN a relationship with them or because I was trying to show that I wanted to be. That's just my experience, but a home baked and decorated cake - especially with the personal stuff that you describe makes me question the friend status.

  4. Hey DG!

    Wanted to say hey for a while....what's up? I read the most recent post...and let me just say that other than the "wow" factor...maybe you should bide your time because I think you'll find someone who enjoys what you offer.

    Have a great month! Oh Happy Belated Bday man.

    Oh if you need a laugh or two - Read "My life of One Night Stands" by Chelsea Handler.