Monday, June 22, 2009

Another Year On This Planet

Dear Diary:

This weekend I celebrated a birthday. Well, more like acknowledged a birthday because I really do not like celebrating mine. The only time I remember within the last decade that I was excited about my birthday was when I was married, but, since that is no longer the case, it is just another day to me.

When the clock struck midnight and my birthday had actually arrived, I was at a nice little dirty basement bar with a bunch of friends. We had gone there to meet up and have some beer. Now the place I went to was not the cleanest of places, but the beer list was, for lack of a better description, fucking amazing. Furthermore, the bar food that they served consisted mainly of good burgers and tater tots. I mean seriously, who doesn't like tater tots? I will tell you who. Communists. I bet those bastards hate them. Also, the place had fried pickles. All sexual innuendos involving pickles fly out the window when you are trying to eat those fuckers right out of a vat of oil. Talk about heat. But anyway....

So, the clock strikes midnight, and get to welcome in my birthday courtesy of a female friend giving me a bit of a lap dance, with of course all other friends taking pictures. Fun times. Unfortunately, that was the closest I got to getting any on this momentous day.

After the bar, I just went home and crashed. I was beat from the combination of the long night and the swamped week at work, and my bed was calling my name.

I woke up and it was a day just like any other, except it wasn't. I was a year older. Was I a year wiser? Eh, after last year, I probably am a decade wiser, but then again I can be an arrogant prick and think I know way more than I do, but, still, you get my point, I hope. The first thing I did on my birthday was what I did last year: got coffee. I mean, it was my birthday, so I was going to let someone else brew that pot for me.

That afternoon, AJ came over. She was wearing a nice blue dress that showed beautiful cleavage and looked absolutely radiant. She really was purely beautiful, and thankfully the brain on the top of my shoulders overruled the brain in my pants and I did not wrap her in my arms and plant on on her (but I wanted to!). She came bearing gifts too. She had gave me a candle, some spices, a stainless steel bar used to rub the garlic smell off one's hands, a plant, and she baked me a birthday cake. The birthday cake was what really got to me, as she had decorated it with little flags and pictures of things we have talked about over the last ten months or so. I almost cried because it was so unbelievably thoughtful.

We then went out to lunch, and talked, and she told me stories of her recent trip to the tropics. We then walked around a bit and just talked some, and then I showed her some new apartment buildings as she is thinking of moving. And then we went back to my place......and she went home.

That evening was spent over at my brother's place, grilling out and shooting the shit. Nothing too fancy and nothing too crazy. It was good to see him as we don't get to hang out much. I ate more grilled chicken than I probably should have, along with ton's of fattening stuff, but I will just work it off at the gym.

When I got home, I looked at the cake that AJ had made me, and honestly, I felt a bit sorry for myself. She had put candles on it, but there was no one there to watch me blow them out. I felt as if I was in a movie of some sort, where the lonely soul has no one to share anything with. So I lit the candles, and sang Happy Birthday to myself, and blew them out. I didn't make a wish because it seems as if anything that I actually want, or want to be a part of, blows up in my face at some point and I am left alone to pick up the pieces.

But the cake was good.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Movin' On Up...

Dear Diary:

Well, my self imposed hiatus from living in DC is going to come to an end by the end of the year, and I am about to tell you why. You could call me a spoiled shit after you hear me out, and honestly, I would tell you to kiss my ass. You may also call me an opportunist, and for that, you can kiss my ass as well.

You see, my dad gets bored sometimes, and when he gets bored, he buys things, mostly real estate, and cars. But he doesn't buy just any real estate. He buys the type that you have to fix up, and then he rents it, or lives in it, depending on his mood really. Well, since he lives a few thousand miles away, and since the DC housing market has shit the bed, there have been some really good deals.

This particular deal that we are closing on was a foreclosed property (hence the opportunist bit). Well, this is not just any foreclosed property. This place was trashed, so guess who gets to design the interior and all the bells and whistles that go with it? Yup, you guessed it, moi.

I am really looking forward to this little project because it is what I want to do when I have some cash and want to get into something different. I like the thought of renovating an old shell and breathing new life into it. This project is going to call for new flooring, kitchens, bathrooms, moving some walls, lighting, plumbing, and some electrical. Basically everything. New windows, doors, iron gates, stairs, railings, etc. And I get to pick out all the cool shit and make it nice.

So, once that is done, I get to move into the place. I will go from a one bedroom apartment to a two bedroom, one and a half bath practically brand new house with a yard, and off-street parking in the back. Oh, and of course the most important feature of all:


Wednesday, June 17, 2009


Dear Diary:

So, let's see. I wake up, work out, go to work, work my ass off, come home, cook, then pass out. Yes, this is my life.

I am writing this from the office at the moment as I take a little break because honestly at this point I cannot fit anything else in my fat fucking cranium. I am on Cup o' Joe #3 today, which is a nice freshly brewed 20oz from the cafeteria downstairs (it tastes like dirt, but eh, it's caffeinated). The last ten days have been an utter blur, and I really do have a lot to talk about. However, some of the subject matter is a bit more serious than others.

I am writing this little blurb to let you know that I have not forgotten and I will be back at a later date (think a couple of days depending on how busy I am) with a more detailed update of my divorced life. To touch on a couple of the things I plan on talking about, you can be assured to hear of some dating stories, some housing stories, some job stories, and just random bullshit as well. I might even throw in a couple confessionals about what I have done to keep myself occupied. Will it all be pretty? Nope. Will it all be funny? Nope. Will it all be boring? Well, I certainly hope not. Will it all be real? You can bet your sweet ass it will.

Now, you will have to excuse me as I get back to doing the stuff the man pays me for. I mean, bills don't pay themselves.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Weekend Update

Dear Diary:

For the last week or so I have had a bad case of writer's block. I cannot seem to put anything together that seems to make any sense, so this is why I have not keep you updated on what I have been doing lately. My brain has been a jumbled mess of random bullshit that is all over the place. I have been catching things from all angles at work, and although I am liking my new position immensely, it has proven to be challenging. But, there are some very very good things happening in my life at the moment that I thought I would tell you about briefly while I have a whole turkey breast in the oven roasting (why not right?).

Like I said, work has proven to be a challenge, and this is a good thing. I had gotten a bit set in my ways in me previous position, and I was having trouble coming up with new ideas to move the organization forward. However, now that I am once again being challenged, I am finding that the ideas are back to flowing out of my brain like beers flows at Oktoberfest. Everything seems as it should be at work, and I am loving every minute of it. I am also liking the fact that I got to move my desk near a window, and have ample space now for all my random shit. Yes, I am slowly but surely moving on up to the big desk. Not bad if I do say so myself.

Also, as I said earlier, I ventured out into the great unknown (at least to me) world of online dating. I am not going to tell you which site I signed up for, because well honestly, I don't expect to get any royalty checks or discounts from the place, and I would be biased, so, let's just say that it is a fairly respectable one (if any really exist that is). I went into the whole situation with an open mind, and I wasn't expecting to meet anyone right out of the gates, but, guess what happened?

Yup, I met someone. We seem to click pretty well. There is nothing but constant laughter, and, well, I think she is pretty damn hot. We have been out twice so far, with date number three happening tomorrow. And truth be told, I really couldn't be more optimistic than I am right now, and I am not talking about optimistic as far as a relationship.

I am talking about optimistic as far as everything. Listen, if after a few more dates, while we are in the still getting to know each other phase, things do not work out, that is ok. It won't break me. I will just move on to something else. If work becomes more than I can handle, I will ask my team to help me out. I will adapt, I will improvise, I will roll with the punches.

Isn't that what life is all about?