Forgive me Diary, for I have sinned. It has been well over a week since my last entry.
Ahh fuck it.
Ok, as a warning to all who may stumble upon this, I have had a couple of beers tonight. Well, maybe more like 8, but who is counting really?
Secondly, I am a bit annoyed. I really do not know why, but I am annoyed nonetheless.
Now, there is a good reason why I have not written anything recently. Honestly, I have been working my fucking ass off and I do not want to hear it that I have some sort of responsibility to update you about my daily life on a day by day basis (ok, I probably do, but like I said, I have been drinking).
Anyway, the subject that I wanted to tell you about before that I have been putting off has to do with me. And it has to do with something that some may not really grasp because they see another side of me.
I am shy, I mean really shy.
This is something that I have struggled with my entire life. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I moved around a lot as a kid. It seemed as though I was in a new school about every three years, and it was difficult having to make friends over and over and over again, so I withdrew into myself because it was the only place I really ever felt safe. And this has proven to be the absolute hardest thing for me to overcome.
Now don't get me wrong, in small groups, with people that I know and am comfortable with, I do just fine. But, put me in a large group by myself and have me fend for myself and I am the guy that ends up in the corner of the room sipping his drink and watching people.
I think that is why this exercise is a bit healthy (or it may be detrimental, too early to tell). In this type of forum, my mind can roam free, without the need to censor myself and I can just let loose.
When my father told a good friend of mine that I was getting married, my buddy seemed shocked, and told my dad that he never thought it would happen because he thought I would never go out and actually find someone.
Kind of says a lot about me doesn't it?