Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Is It True What They Say About Nice Guys?

Dear Diary:

The other day, maybe it was late last week, I came across an article online about how being too nice was a turnoff to a lot of women. So, that got me thinking, "Am I too nice."

I would like to think that I have a generally agreeable disposition, even though at times I can be a bit of an arrogant prick. I like to think of myself as a nice guy, but am I putting forth the image of a doormat?

Tough question to really answer on one's own I imagine. I guess this is just part of the entire male/female gender difference that I will never understand. Well fuck it, I just don't understand women at all. I cannot understand women. I was born with a penis, so it is biologically impossible for me to understand the opposite sex.

Guys, for the most part, we are simple creatures. If you feed us, fuck us, and let us take a shit in peace, we are pretty damn content if you ask me. But women? I think they need to come with an manual.

And Diary, I do not mean this entry to bash women in any way shape or form. I love them, and I love everything about them. I just do not understand them.

My female friends all say that ultimately they want the guy that will treat them well, not like a piece of meat. Um, hello, that is the type of guy I am, but, of course, I happen to have the big scarlet D branded into me, so, it appears that I come back into the game with a significant disadvantage. But, this is all random bullshit and doesn't get to what I actually asked in the first place.

Am I too nice? You know, I don't think I know if it is possible for me to actually be the asshole. I mean sure, I have my moments, but to be an asshole to women, treat them like shit, like a piece of meat, that I don't think I could ever do. It is just not how I am built.

I like treating women with respect. I like being the protector. I like to open doors, offer compliments, treat them when we go out if it is reasonable (no, sorry, this does not include going to Tiffany right now), and I like to let them know they are appreciated for who they are, not what they could be in the future.

But, this really hasn't gotten me anywhere except put into the dreaded "friend zone."

Interesting isn't it? So, am I going to finish last? (Well, if you are lucky I am)


  1. When I hear guys complain about women not liking nice guys I always wonder what type of women thay are chasing. For me and my girls, we are all looking for nice guys but end up with jerks.

    My Ex was a nice guy. In fact, it was his nickname in college. I went out on a date the other night and he wa a nice guy. I had the best time and definitely plan on getting together with him again.

    Some women do want a nice guy.

  2. Ever considered that you may be chasing the wrong kind of girls? There are plenty of women who do want to date a nice guy. If you aren't finding them...you may be looking in the wrong places. Not meant as a criticism, just as something to think about.

  3. I agree with anon...my husband is nice (well if you take out the opening doors) and I married him. He's a protector/provider/caveman with a soul (I like that).

    Keep in mind you will find someone who doesn't mind you have been "broken in" and have similiar interests and whatnot. Don't worry about the saying. Nice guys are hot.

  4. As someone who devoted an entire blog to detailing what a deluxe turd my ex was, I have to say, no, nice guys are perfectly fine. Underrated even. My ex was mean, arrogant, bitter and rude. At this point, dating a dude with the personality of Mr. Rogers is looking ideal.

    Most women who prefer the drama that comes with dating bad boys aren't that mature themselves. They're like the guys who only want to date models. You just keep looking at them, waiting for them to grow up. Sometimes they don't, in which case, they can date each other. They're usually great matches!

    So what if you don't meet your ideal match until 5 or 10 years from now? Are you willing to wait? It's a question I ask myself often, and at this point, I'd have to say yes, I am more than willing to wait. I've settled before and it's no fun.

    I think your dream girl will come along...it just may not, you know, be this week or anything. :P

  5. How terribly sad is it that we'll probably never get this one right? I think definitions of Nice Guys and Nice Girls can vary a bit, but essentially we are all hung-up on weakness and fragility.
    Something we all have or are capable of. So maybe that's the problem?